House – Modern Anachronist

Simple Fix For the Smart Blinds

Last summer when I redecorated the dining room, I installed IKEA FYRTUR smart blinds in the two west facing windows.

One of those blinds had been a source of embarrassment until just recently.

Garage Door Openers (pt.3 – the digital install)

I installed Chamberlain’s MyQ app so I could use the “smart” features of the GDO’s and I was completely underwhelmed.

Garage Door Openers (pt.2 – the physical install)

I (mostly) installed both garage door openers (GDO) in a single day.

Garage door openers (pt.1)

We’re getting to the point where buying a house from a flipper is catching up to us. (It didn’t help that the flipper got the house from an addict.)

It’s time to start replacing things that have been neglected for years.

Up next, the garage door openers. (I’m pretty sure the water heater is next. Good times.)

Hanging plant rack

My wife’s friend has plants hanging from iron pipe on her front window. She’s been after me to recreate this for a few years now.

Hanging window treatments from the ceiling. (Don’t do it!)

[Apologies, dear reader. No pictures on this post. I got into the zone while working & never stopped to take photos.]

Actually, it’s not as bad as all that. Just a lot of information that needs to be made visible on the ceiling so you can install things aligned with the window. You’re going to need to mark the window frame, ceiling joists, and mounting hardware locations on the ceiling.

Step one (skip if you plan to paint the ceiling.) Painter’s tape gives you a place to make marks without marring the ceiling. Go big here. A few inches past the outside of the window trim. A few inches further out than you think you’ll need.

Step 2 (get creative). You need to transfer the outside, and maybe the center, of your window from the wall to the ceiling. I used a combination square and a speed square.

The blade of the combination square goes against the window trim. But 50 years of paint & caulk have built up the side of the trim so it’s no longer square to the wall. I used the speed square against the wall to rotate the head of the combination square. Then I traced the speed square along the ceiling.

If you’re paying attention, you know that because the head of the combo square is thicker than the blade, my line is about 3/8” inboard of the window trim. Given that it’s the same on each side of the window, it doesn’t matter.

For the center line, I eyeballed my blade on the center divider of the window and traced both left and right sides of the head. Then I drew a center line between those two marks. (It’s easier to eyeball the middle of a 3/4” gap than the middle of a 72” span).

Step 3 (Finally something straightforward). Use your stud finder to locate the ceiling joists and mark them on your tape.

Step 4 (in which something that your partner will recognize as progress actually happens) Now that you know where the window treatment has to be and where the joists are, you can hold your window treatment against the ceiling and plan your fasteners. Can you lag it into joists? Are you using toggle bolts?

Mark your ceiling where the fasteners are going.

Step 5 (making holes, finally). Drill your pilot holes. The sizes you need are determined by your fasteners.

Step 6 (no subtitle needed) Peel off your painter’s tape or paint the ceiling after your holes are drilled.

Step 7 (The light at the end of the tunnel. Or is that an oncoming train?) Attach your mounting hardware to the ceiling and your window treatment to the mounting hardware.

Picking paint pigments

My brain is pretty bad at making a final decision. I’m very good at visualizing alternatives. Brilliant at building pros & cons lists. But choosing something I’m going to have to live with for years – utterly paralyzing to me.

So choosing a paint color when redecorating a room is a special kind of hell for me. Luckily I’ve found a solution. I call it the slow decay decision making process.

Food Forest inspiration.

My wife has had a veggie garden for the past ten years in two houses. It always struck me as too much work for too little harvest. Add in the fact that the garden plants are annuals and I think our garden costs more per pound than a trip to Whole Foods.

I want perennial plants to feed me so I only have to buy them once. And I would like them to be native, or at least well-enough acclimated to the mid-Atlantic region where I live so the plants can tend to themselves.

Reaching back to my childhood, my immigrant grandfather had a fig tree in his yard. I always thought it was purely decorative as I never saw any fruit on it. I found out long after the death of both my mom’s parents that my grandfather was eating the figs as soon as they became ripe. His tree was barely cold tolerant enough for where he lived. I know that figs have been bred to be cold tolerant enough to survive winters in Chicago.

For Father’s Day in 2020, my family gave me a baby fig tree. It yielded its first fruits in 2021. In late summer 2022, I noticed a plant sprouting at the edge of our yard with distinct human hand shaped leaves. Some bird or squirrel planted a second fig tree for me. In spring 2024, there is a fruit growing on it. Hopefully the fruit is good.

Sometimes it’s the little things

Back in the days when I maintained foreclosed homes, I saw these installed in basements all over Philly. They never had the outer can, just the grinders, so I left them there. I finally broke down and bought one, and couldn’t possibly be happier.

Garden Storage & Workspace (Phase 1)

Birthday present for the wife this year is a space for working and sitting and storing tools and materials for the veggie garden. *

It’s a wee space, but it has room for all the bits & bobs she keeps in the garden.

In addition to storage, she has a bit of a work space and a place to sit so she can commune with her plants.